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Whitney Boakye-Mensah Writes: Are We So In Love During Dating?   
 
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22-Jul-2018  
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Are we so in love during dating that we refuse to see these warning signs?


Dear Francis Kennedy Ocloo, I have been meaning to write this letter, you see, reading some of the inboxes you get on daily basis, I have come to a conclusion that our society does not only judge women, but pressurize them so much, that when sometimes they are in a haste to settle down before accusing fingers point at them, they make some lifetime mistakes:

One not asking questions, because they feel, asking too many questions will make the man run, or it will mean, they are ticking too many boxes, so they keep quiet and settle in typical Gh attitude and 'Give it to God,

Two, they feel asking questions about sex means they are perceived as women who have been around, or in typical Gh attitude 'they are spoilt, so they again, settle and pray their sex lives will be like the Mills and Boon stories they read as youngsters

Three, the assumption that a woman can clay mould a man to be what she wants after marriage.

You see, a man that is meant to stay in your life will not run a mile when you ask questions about aspirations, ambitions, plans for the next five years of his life, even his finances, where you will be living after marriage, rent, bills, do not only prepare for wedding, life is bigger,an eye opener, reality is hard....do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who you cannot even open up about your aspirations or his to you?

I find it very funny how we look at ladies who seem to know what they want when it comes to lovemaking as "spoilt", even funnier when a man says he cannot get down on you but expects you should know bj is the praise and worship that sends their bodies to heaven, no woman was born with a manual for how to give the perfect bj, no manual either in our DNA on kamasutra, talk about it, if you want to be touched a certain way talk, open up, do not go playing goody two shoes and for the rest of your life, write to agony columns about your bad sex life, if he is kneading your boobs like bread rolls, tell him what you want,

And finally, I could not believe the lady who married the man with the tar in between his teeth ,expecting she will change him after marriage, I mean, someone's son, whose family have all seen tar, do not think it is a problem, you never spoke about it during courtship, after marriage you want to drag him to dentist, you want him to change his bad body odour, same things you refused to talk about when you were dating, sometimes, some of your letters get me smh, are we so in love during dating that we refuse to see these warning signs? Like someone making an excuse for an abuser ,that she rather got him upset...our 'fa ma Nyame ' attitude is killing us, may we learn to talk.

Tell them not to only prepare for a wedding, but for life after.

 
 
Source: Whitney Boakye-Mensah/facebook
 
 

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