Men think a lot, but share a little. Some things light, some things heavy. Whatever the case, you usually just get a portion of what�s on our minds. Sometimes that�s for the greater good. Other times it�s just to get some sleep or avoid a scowl. Today, I wanted to share seven of the more common things we think but rarely say. Let�s get into it.
1. I really don�t want this number.
How often have you read a headline or article answering the question of why he didn�t call? Have you ever wondered this yourself, only to find yourself waving your fist at your phone, saying �forget� him, then secretly looking up the answer to your question on Google? Don�t lie to me.
Sometimes men ask for phone numbers, sometimes we don�t. There are occasions where we do just because it seemed like the �manly� thing to do or we didn�t want to be rude. Yep. In some roundabout and twisted way, not asking for the number after an extended conversation can be considered rude.
Other times, we�re offered a phone number and told to keep in touch � even though we don�t want to. But � we choose to be nice and take the number while thinking to ourselves �I have no interest in calling at all.�
2. I�m really not that into you.
Tired of this cliche? So are we. That�s why we stopped saying it and decided to keep it a thought in our heads. So instead of telling women this directly, we say stuff like �I�m really not looking for a relationship right now� or �I have a lot going on.� And if we don�t feel like conveying that verbally, we just drop off the map all together except for our Facebook and Twitter updates to everybody else but you.
But Slim � that�s cowardly!!
No. It�s conveniently selfish.
3. Why should I work for this?
Assuming we�ve called the number we�ve gotten and conveyed that we�re not enthusiastically against the idea of commitment, the next thing we want to know (and often think) is why should we work for it? I mean � I�m pretty sure it�d ruin date night or pre-sheets magic if a guy was just like, �Why should I work for this?� And then pulled out a notepad and waited for your reply. So instead we just listen to what you say, watch how you carry yourself and see what you allow us to do. If you act like a 10 cent lemonade stand, we�re not gonna think Simply Lemonade. Just saying.
4. Why did you wait until now to talk about this?!
Maybe this is just my pet peeve, but I hate being in bed ready to go to sleep and then I hear, �We need to talk.� Like, we couldn�t have talked about this sh*t at 6:45 p.m. when you said everything was fine? Saying that would clearly be counterproductive so I turn over and listen with NaCL coursing through my veins. Or, I drift away as quickly as possible so I can get to deadweight status. I don�t want you to go to sleep mad, but I ain�t trying to give a presentation at work tomorrow tired.
5. How can I turn this into womanspeak?
Men are notorious for one word answers. Sometimes it�s because the answer genuinely suffices. Other times it�s because we want to be a d*ck. But more often than we physically speak, we just don�t know what to f*cking say. If you�re coming at us with something of importance and emotion, we know that nine out of 10 possible answers will lead somewhere we don�t wanna go. So we sit there parsing our womanspeak dictionary like we�re in a game of Words With Friends hoping we find that mega word.
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