Guy Who Took A Girl On A Date

*�Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?� Pastor replied, �No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road, maybe they will do it.� The man said, �Do you think they will accept a donation of U.S $250,000 for the burial service?� Pastor exclaimed, �Sweet Jesus! Why didn�t u tell me the dog was a Christian?� *A famous prostitute died. People were confused as to what should be written on her grave. Finally, on the advice of a wise man, they wrote: �AT LAST SHE SLEPT ALONE!!!� *An American, an English man, and a Nigerian were on a ship. Suddenly the Devil appeared and said, �Drop anything in the sea, if I find it I will eat u, If I can�t, I will be your slave!� The American dropped a pin, the Devil found it and ate him. The English man dropped a coin, the Devil found it and ate him too. The Nigerian opened a bottle of water, poured it in the sea and said, �Na today be today, go find am!�. *A husband comes home from Church, greets his wife, lifts her up and carries her around the house. The wife is so surprised and excited! She asked with smiles, �Did the Pastor preach on being romantic?� Out of breath the husband replies, �No, he said we must carry our burdens�� *A Nigerian man fainted outside Mr. Biggs (an eatery). Soon a crowd gathered around him and someone suggested, �Give him some water, it will help.� Hearing this, the man opened one eye and said, �Commot from here, if na water I wan drink, I for go faint for water board�� (Translation: �Get lost! If I needed water, I would faint in front of a water facility) *A man sits on the balcony having drinks with his wife, and he says, �I love you!� She asks, �Is that you or the beer talking?� He replies, �It�s me� talking to the beer.� *A guy takes a girl on a date. She orders costly champagne, oysters, lobsters, the most expensive food on the menu. The guy asks: �Do you eat like this at your mom�s place?� The girl replies, �No, my mother doesn�t plan to sleep with me after the meal.�